iPhones, Strange Music, and New Friends
by trillion42
Summary: Reincarnation. Arthur has risen and is now living with Merlin, but seriously the future is kinda annoying him. Between Merlin's new style, friends, and technology, how is he supposed to be his former manservant's best buddy? These are basically a bunch of stories on how Arthur tries to understand the future and this new Merlin. No slash (unfortunately). Bromance only.
1. Chapter 1

"I know! That episode was so amazing last night! And don't get me started on that…" Arthur heard Merlin say into a small box-thing he held to his ear. The warlock had called it an "eye-phone" but the king had no idea what a "phone" was. Arthur had no idea what a lot of things were. All he could remember was dying….then waking up. Merlin said centuries had pasted. Arthur didn't want to believe it, but seeing his former manservant's style of clothing, he kind of had to.

Arthur had not been allowed outside Merlin's house since he had risen two months ago. That had annoyed him. It also annoyed him that Merlin kept making references to things he didn't understand. And Merlin's new friends annoyed him. He never met them, but their way of speaking and how they would constantly call the warlock on his "eye-phone" downright irritated him.

"'Kay, bye," said Merlin as he turned off his "eye-phone." "So Arthur, what do you want to do? I could explain the internet to you."

"Sounds tempting," said Arthur dully. This "internet" annoyed him too. Merlin spent a great amount of time on there. Shaking away his mourning thoughts, he indicated a radio. "I've been wondering, though, what is this thing?"

"Oh, that? It's a radio. It plays music," said Merlin. "Want to try it out?"

"Ummmmm….sure," said Arthur. Merlin showed him how to turn it on (as he had been doing with most electric appliances.) Arthur pressed the button and waited. Merlin turned this dial thing on it. A sound like….Arthur couldn't describe it, it was that terrible! He ran away from that evil magic and covered his ears.

Merlin laughed as he changed the station. "I see you're not a Justin Bieber fan."

"_Justin_ _what_? You call that music?"

"No, not me. Some do though."

"The future is odd," Arthur noted.

Merlin looked at him sadly. "Yeah, I know. It sucks when it becomes your present, then eventually, your past. And then everything changes except you."

**A/N: So what up peoples? Did you like it? If so review! Oh and I haven't seen Season 5 but I do know alot about it (damn those spoliers). So like I said before, review! The Great Dragon says its your destiny to! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

When Merlin arrived home on a Tuesday night, he wasn't really surprised to find Arthur hiding behind the couch while the TV was on. Merlin hadn't explained television to the king yet. Arthur probably thought it was evil magic already, so why even attempt to make him understand it?

"Merlin is that you?" whispered the king, grabbing Merlin by the arm and pulling him into his hiding spot. "I think there's some dark magic going on here."

Merlin rolled his eyes, got up, and turned the TV off. Arthur came out.

"How do you handle all this future stuff? It's so bizarre," said Arthur, again looking at Merlin's jeans and T-shirt like they were offending him.

"You're just lucky you didn't return in the eighties."

"What were the eighties?"

"Long story."

"So, Merlin," started Arthur, "What do you do all day?"

"I work," stated Merlin.

"As what? A servant again? Or did you learn some skills over the years?" asked Arthur, remembering how Merlin was a "useless" servant.

"I'm a screen writer," said Merlin, not meeting his eyes. "For a show on that." He pointed to the television.

"Oh," said Arthur, thinking it was like a book. "What is it about?"

"Nothing."

"Stories aren't about nothing, _Mer_lin," said the king. "So what's it called?"

Merlin muttered something incoherent, but somehow Arthur heard. It was one word; _Merlin._

"You named it after yourself?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

The warlock turned red. "Well- it's- well, it's my basically from my point of view, so _yes._"

"What's it about? You being the idiot that you are?"

"_No_," snapped Merlin. "It's our story with Gauis, Gwen, the knights, and Morgana."

Arthur blinked. "Oh."

That night, after Merlin explained TV to the king, they turned on BBC, where it just happened to be a _Merlin _marathon before they last episode came out later in the week.

In watching it, the king realized two things:

Merlin was really hero.

And the actor that played him didn't get Arthur's personality right.


	3. Chapter 3

"Bitch, I'm fabulous!" Arthur heard Merlin say from the other room, laughing. The king was seriously wondered if his former manservant had lost it. For the past hour, Merlin had been sitting in his bed and talking to no one. The warlock kept saying things that only mad people would say. Arthur heard Merlin laugh then say in a singsong voice, "Do you hear that sound? It's the TARDIS!"

Not being able to watch his friend go mad, Arthur stormed in there, only to find a giggling warlock talking to a tiny person on his "eye-phone." Merlin looked up and rolled his eyes. "Alyssa, gotta go."

"'Kay, Merls, text me!" screamed the "eye-phone." It was then shut off.

"Merlin, why are you talking to inanimate objects?" asked Arthur.

The warlock chuckled. "Really? I'm not that crazy. I was FaceTiming." At Arthur's puzzled expression, he continued. "I was talking to a person with this-" he held up the "eye-phone" – "it's kinda hard to explain."

"It's must be magic!" said the once-dead king.

Merlin rolled his eyes. With his eyes flashing gold, a small bird appeared, then disappeared after coming too close to Arthur's face. "That was magic. This is technology."

Arthur would never be able to understand it, so he changed the subject. "Soooooo, Alyssa? A girl?"

Merlin blushed. "It's not like that."

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure."

"Seriously, she's like my best friend. Here, you wanna meet her?" Before the king could answer, the "eye-phone" was out and Merlin was sliding his fingers across the glass part. Arthur was slightly hurt, though he'd never admit it. Secretly, Merlin was always his best friend, but apparently this "Alyssa" was the warlock's. He pushed down his feelings, and focused on the girl trapped in the "eye-phone."

"I'm back, Aly," Merlin said to the screen.

"Hey, Merls! Why'd you go? Did you need peanut butter and such?" asked the technology Arthur did not understand.

"Do not bring that up!" Merlin said indignantly. "That was one time, okay?"

"Peanut butter and such! Peanut butter and such!" said the girl in the screen, cracking up. The warlock was laughing hysterically too. Arthur added this to the "What I Don't Know About the Future" list.

"Remember Alyssa, we're not weird, we're just on drugs! Wait, I said that wrong…." said Merlin, tears leaking out of his eyes from laughter. Arthur felt strange, as if intruding on a private conversation. He remembered a time when he and Merlin would have inside jokes like this.

"Oooooh, I remember that! Us, several pints of beer, two tiger hats, one camera, and peanut butter and such!" exclaimed the "eye-phone." Arthur was really feeling awkward now. This girl had adventures with Merlin too. Jealously was creeping in.

"Alyssa," said Merlin after five intense minutes of laughing, screaming random things, and 'peanut butter and such.' Merlin pulled the king into Alyssa's screen's line of vision. "This is Arthur."

The girl gasped. "Not the Arthur! The prat, the clotpole the dollop-head? Am I finally meeting him? And through FaceTime?"

Arthur felt himself go red. He had never heard of this girl, but she had heard of him? Should he feel flattered? He didn't. Something was coursing through his veins, and it made him feel hurt, angry, and sad at the same time. Why didn't he want to talk to this girl? Well, she was Merlin's _best friend_. Yep, Arthur was jealous.

"Oh my- You don't know how long I've wanted to meet you!" said Alyssa. "The world's biggest clotpole!"

"Well," said Arthur, through his envy, forcing a friendly smile, "I see Merlin has ruined my reputation by telling everyone that."

Merlin laughed. "And I've even told her some stories too. Remember Vivian?"

Arthur didn't until it hit him; the Lady Vivian, the royal brat that he had been enchanted to fall in love with. He still didn't quite remember what happened with her. Arthur groaned.

"Don't worry," said Alyssa with an evil grin, "He hasn't told many that story. Just me, Mark, Kayla, Greg, Freddie, Ted…need I continue?"

"_Mer_lin," Arthur said in the way only Arthur could.

The girl squealed. "Ooooooh, you say his name just like he described!"

"Like what?" asked Arthur unaware that he said Merlin's name in a certain way.

"_Merl_in! No, I didn't say it right…" said Alyssa. "You try Merls."

"It was more like _Mer_lin, but I think only Arthur can do it," admitted the warlock.

"You two must have had so much fun growing up! Well-" started the girl on the screen, but then there was voices in the background. "Oh, gotta go! Love ya Merls! Hope to meet ya in real life, clotpole!"

The screen changed and said "call ended." Merlin pressed the button at the bottom and returned to the "home screen," as Merlin had called it.

"You two seem…" started Arthur.

"Insane? Yes," said Merlin bluntly. "As are all best friends."

Arthur had jealousy rip through him again, and a little bit of sadness. He then remembered something. "Hey, what did she mean when we had 'so much fun' growing up together?"

Merlin looked down and turned slightly red. An incoherent answer (Merlin seemed to give a lot of these now a days.) Then, swallowing his embarrassment, he said rather quickly, "Okay, well, I kinda told my friends that we were brothers…..like I mean- um…well, you see at the time I was….no never mind."

Arthur blinked, jealousy gone. Didn't brother trump best friend? "So you're saying….."

"That I consider you a brother? Yes," said Merlin _really _fast. The warlock was looking anywhere but at the once-king of Camelot.

"Oh," said Arthur, blinking, "Oh. Well, I guess I've always considered you a brother too. But you're still an idiot."

"Prat," said a smiling Merlin.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! And thank you to the AWESOME reviewers that reviewed, you are AWESOME!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Merlin, what is Merthur?" When the warlock heard his friend ask that, his eyebrows raised and his mouth dropped in shock and humor.

"How'd- um- you find out about it?" Merlin asked before answering. The king then relayed a tale of how he discovered how to use a computer and ended up on something called " ." Arthur apparently was searching for the show Merlin wrote for BBC and came across this website.

"It was strange," said Arthur, eyes wide. "I pressed the buttons with the letters, clicked the one that said 'enter,' and on the glass part of the com-put-er words appeared with one being 'Merthur.'"

"It's nothing, Arthur," said Merlin, a little too quickly.

The king raised an eyebrow. "Really? It didn't sound like nothing." Sarcasm was heavy in his voice.

"Arthur…." Merlin trailed off. "You don't want to know."

"And what's a 'fan fiction'? Those things seemed to be all about this Merthur."

"Ummm….maybe you should look it up."

_A half hour later_

"Merlin."

"Arthur."

"I found out what Merthur is."

There was a very awkward silence, with both men staring anywhere but at each other. Arthur seemed horrified and Merlin seemed to be caught between embarrassment and hysterical laughter. Finally, the king spoke.

"Never speak of this again."

**A/N: Thank you to the amazing people that reviewed! You rock!**


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay," said Merlin as he and Arthur hid in a wardrobe at a strange place called 'Ikea.' "I told my friends to meet us here. When they're outside, we'll walk out and I'll say, 'Hey guys, just back from Narnia.' Then you'll pop out and say something like, 'Merlin, how could you leave me there? Those goat-men things were staring at me!'"

"Okay," said Arthur, still getting used to Merlin's new style of doing things. "One question though."

"What?"

"What's Narnia?"

Merlin was about to answer, but suddenly, voices appeared. "That idiot. Where is he?" asked a young male voice.

Merlin smirked. Sure, this was cliché and childish, but he so desperately wanted to do this. In a flash, Merlin flung open the door and had tackled (or hugged) a young man, maybe in his early twenties. "I'm back from Narnia!"

Arthur took that as his cue to walk out, but he didn't his say lines; he just watched Merlin wrestle with the red-head on the floor. He noticed three other people there, one being the girl he'd met through the magic of "FaceTime."

When Merlin and the other man stood, both looked tussled up and had had huge grins on their faces. Upon seeing Arthur, the red-hair man gasped and turned to the warlock. "It's him."

Merlin nodded.

"You're Arthur!" said the man, grasping his hand and vigorously shaking it. "I'm Freddy."

"Nice to meet you?" said Arthur, almost confused. Why did the red-head know him?

"Guys, this is Arthur. Arthur this is Kayla, and you met Alyssa through FaceTime," said Merlin as Freddy let go of the king's hand. Arthur nodded, feeling awkward as all eyes were on him.

Freddy cracked an evil grin. "So, Arthur, is it true that Merlin-"

"Do _not _go there!" snapped Merlin, playfully whacking his friend's head. Arthur continued to feel awkward, because no eyes except Merlin's would leave his face.

The five of them browsed this "Ikea" for a while, before heading out to go someplace else. Arthur soon found out that Merlin and his friends just walked around huge shopping centers without buying anything. They called it "hanging out," but Arthur didn't see how they were hanging. When the sun had long set, the group headed over to Merlin's apartment as the warlock had promised a "movie night." Arthur knew what a movie was, but still was getting used to the idea of tiny people living their lives in that small box; especially the small people that looked so much like himself and his old friends in that show Merlin wrote for.

Arthur's awkward feelings had subsided throughout the day. Merlin's friends no longer ogled at him. That was, until Merlin left to go to the bathroom. The moment the warlock left, all eyes snapped to him and the questions started flowing.

"Where did you two grow up?"

"Do you have the same mom and dad?"

"How come you two don't look like each other?"

"What's with Mer's cheekbones?"

"Why do you two talk funny?"

Most questions surprised the king, until he remembered that Merlin had claimed him as his brother. Arthur just kept quiet, until a question caught is attention.

"What did you do to him?"

"What?" asked Arthur, surprised.

"What did you do to him?" Alyssa asked again. "I mean, he always looks so sad when he thinks no one is looking. He's usually a lot more serious, too. Except-" she giggled "-when he's drunk."

"Mer's been acting happier lately," Freddy summarized. "He no longer looks like a kicked puppy. What did you do to him?"

"For the longest time, he was on anti-depression pills," Kayla threw in. Arthur didn't exactly know what a "pill" was, but it sounded like medicine, if Merlin had been taking it to stop depression. Kayla continued, "When he said that you showed up, he didn't go to the pharmacy-" damn, another word Arthur didn't know "-to fill his prescription that week. I think he's stopped taking them."

Arthur was going to respond, and maybe ask some questions of his own, but everyone's favorite warlock (who only Arthur knew had magic) walked in and jovially asked, "What movie do you want to watch? I was thinking _Monty Python and the Holy Grail._"

"You never want to watch that!" gasped Freddy. "You've always said it's a bad parody about Arthurian legend!"

Merlin shrugged. "I think it's time to give it a try."

So they watched it, Arthur realizing five minutes into it, that it _was_ a parody about Arthurian legend. As in ARTHURian. It was about him! But they got the whole story wrong, he was the only person he recognized in the movie, and nothing was serious about it. He wasn't sure whether to be offended or not.

They watched, at the end, how Arthur and his small army (that literally walked out of nowhere.) were about to charge at the French castle. Mid-way through their marching, a police van pulled up and stopped them. One man hand-cuffed the movie-Arthur and another got close to the screen, which then went black. It was the end.

After a few "look how late it is's" and "see ya some other time's," Merlin's friends left, though not before shooting Arthur some looks that said "you'll answer our question later." Merlin and Arthur were alone again.

"Merlin?" asked Arthur.

"Hmmm?"

"Your friends, they told me some things while you were in the bathroom."

"Whatever it is I did, I was drunk at the time!"

"No…..they told me you often look sad, and you were on this medicine thing…"

Merlin groaned. He and Arthur were sitting on the couch, heads turned to face each other. The warlock took a pillow and hid his face. "Listen, it gets life gets lonely after you see all your friends die and you don't. Especially after that happening multiple times. I still remember them all. Perseus from Ancient Greece, Octavius from Rome, Elizabeth, when I went back to England, James, when I decided to go to America and I ended up fighting in their Revolution. Yeah, so I think I have an excuse to be slightly depressed," said the warlock, voice muffled by the pillow.

"You've been through hell," stated Arthur with blunt sympathy.

Merlin groaned again. "Tell me about it."

Arthur was really at a lost for what to say, but then he had an idea. "Merlin, since I've risen from the dead and all that, does that mean I'm immortal?"

"Yeah."

"So, do you know what that means?"

Merlin perked up, getting the idea. He wouldn't have to spend eternity alone anymore. He smiled the typical _Merlin _grin. "Yeah, it means I'm stuck with your Royal Pratness until the world ends."

**A/N: I've gotten so many nice reviews on this! Thank you people! My face while reading them: :D**


	6. Chapter 6

Arthur peeked around the corner as he heard Merlin's key enter the lock. He heard some laughter and talking before he saw the warlock himself.

"I had a lot of fun tonight, Alyssa," said Merlin to the girl he was holding hands with. They hadn't crossed the threshold.

"Me too, Merls," she said breathlessly.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?"

"It's fine Merls. I wanna run home," stated Alyssa, a strange grin forming on her face.

"Why would you run?" asked Merlin, slightly puzzled.

"Because I do stupid things like that every time I look at you," she smiled.

Merlin blushed. "Really? How come?"

At that, Alyssa's smile widened. Arthur watched as she leaned in, eyes closed. Merlin stared for a full second before realizing what was happening.

It lasted about a full minute. Both pulled away, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. "See you tomorrow, Merls," Alyssa whispered, then true to her word, she _ran_.

Merlin stood there for a moment, regaining his proper thinking. He turned, shutting the door, with a triumphant smile on his face, which slid off when he saw Arthur.

"Shut up," he hissed to the king's smirking face.


	7. Chapter 7

"_I can't be tamed! I – can't – be – tamed!_" sang a voice coming from the bathroom. Arthur smirked, evil plan already set in his mind. Picking up Merlin's "eye-phone," he slid into the hallway.

A light was on in the bathroom and the shower was going. More (very amusing) singing was ejecting from the room. Arthur turned on the device and went to video. He pushed the door open, finding it unlocked.

"_I can't be tamed! I - can't – be – tamed! I can't be blamed! I can't, can't, I can't, can't be tamed! I can't be changed! I can't be tamed! I can't be, can't, I can't be tamed!"_

Arthur recorded the singing for a bit, then ripped back the shower curtain, revealing a bathing warlock. "ARTHUR!" he screamed. "WHAT THE HELL? I'M TAKING A SHOWER!" Merlin tried to pull the curtain back, but the king had a steady hold on it.

"GET OUT!"

"Miley Cyrus? Really Merlin?"

"GET OUT YOU PRICK! I'M NAKED!"

"Are you going to answer me?"

"ARE YOU VIDEO TAPPING THIS?"

"But Miley Cyrus? I've been dead for thousands of years I know _that's _not music."

"GET OUT!"

"You hurt me in these ways Merlin…."

"Let me make it up," said Merlin, evil smile and rage in his eyes. "I think you need a hug."

"No, I'm good. Besides, you're all wet and naked and covered in soap – and oh, I see where this is going."

"DIE ARTHUR!"

"Already have!" cried the king, running for his life. He saved the video quickly. "Merlin, calm down, it was just a – Merlin! Merlin! Get off!"

* * *

**A/N: Let's just say this is the result of getting a song I hate stuck in my head. "Cause I can't be tamed!" No, no you can't be tamed, Merlin. **


	8. Chapter 8

"A-thuuuuuuuur," slurred the very drunk warlock, walking in. The once-dead king jumped and caught his friend as he tripped over his own two feet.

"What happened?"

"Alllllllyssa took me to happy hour," Merlin giggled. He tried walking, but landed on the couch. "Ahhhhhh, why's the room spinnin'?"

Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes. The warlock popped back up again, then fell back. He grabbed Arthur's hand and pulled him down on the floor by the couch.

"Know what? I love you, man. You're my friend and I love you soooooooo much," the warlock said with a drunkenly straight face. Arthur wasn't sure whether to laugh or not.

"Let's get you to bed, Merlin." Arthur stood up, trying to pull his past servant. The warlock protested before screaming.

"Oh my Herman!" Merlin screamed, stopping Arthur for a moment. Herman? "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!"

"Great to know," said Arthur, trying to make him stand.

"No," said the warlock, eyes wide. "Don't make me stand, that's just what they want!"

"_Mer_lin."

"Arthur, look out! It's-it's…." Merlin trailed off, eyes closing. The king face-palmed. Leaving Merlin there on the couch, he went to his own room.

The next morning, Merlin woke up with a terrible hangover. He just went back to sleep, face burrowed in the couch cushions. What he should have been doing was erasing pictures from his phone.

Arthur had gotten bored, so to pass the time, he had been going to make a video of Merlin with the "eye-phone." He unlocking it, he saw it was still on camera mode. He went to pictures and oh all that is holy…Merlin had some explaining to do.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked later. The warlock looked at him with blood-shot eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I saw some pictures on your phone…"

There was a sharp intake of breath. "And?"

"What were you doing, dancing on the bar, with your shirt up?"

There was no answer.

"And why were you in that one picture-?"

"No."

"But you were-"

"No."

"What were you-?"

"No."

"You and I need to have a talk, my friend."

The warlock glared.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, okay this wasn't that funny, I just wanted Merlin to get drunk and yell something about hobbits. Next chapter: Merlin and Arthur meet Colin and Bradley.**

**And thank you to all the awesome reviewers! May the magics be with you!**


	9. Chapter 9

"_Mer_lin, what on earth is going on?" asked the king, walking into the kitchen. The warlock was quickly tidying up.

"Well," he said, tossing out old phone bills. "Remember that show I write for? The one about our adventures? The two actors that play you and me want to stop by and talk about the show."

Arthur cocked his head to the side. "Wait, the ones that play us?"

The warlock nodded. "Yep, Colin and Bradley."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Merlin didn't notice, so Arthur answered and got the shock of his life.

"What the hell?" said the two Arthurs, each on one side of the threshold. They looked _exactly _alike. It scared the f*** out of both of them.

Arthur raised his hand, only to find his double-ganger had done the same, as if looking in a mirror. He widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, only to find the second Arthur had done the same. Thinking fast, he started speaking, only to find the same result.

"Mary had a little lamb-" started both blondes, who both stopped and turned their heads away in fright.

"Merlin!" Arthur called, voice panicky.

"Colin!" the other one cried.

Suddenly, two Merlins walked next to the two Arthurs. "Hey Colin, hey Bradley," the warlock said calmly as Arthur and Bradley looked at Colin and Merlin. _They_ looked alike too, right down to the cheekbones, but unlike the blondes, they seemed almost bored.

"Hey Merlin. Who's your friend?" asked Colin, as Bradley and Arthur were having another staring contest, both of their expressions saying _there can only be one!_

"This is Arthur," he said, inviting them in. Bradley and Arthur seemed to be having a silent conversation, trying to figure if they touched would the world blow up, like in those movies. The all sat down at the kitchen table, the look-alikes across from each other.

"Okay, so Bradley and I have some requests for the show," said Colin, getting down to business. "We've been reading fanfictions lately and we've seen some really good ideas."

"Okay," said Merlin, getting out a pad of paper and a pen so he could write the suggestions down.

"Well, first thing we noticed was that the online fangirls love whump," said the actor. "The show needs more of that."

The warlock nodded and wrote it down, tongue between his teeth. "What else?"

"Magic reveal. Everyone wants it to happen soon."

Merlin nodded and scribbled it down. He looked up and Colin continued.

"You know about OTPs, right? Well, Bradley and I found that most people ship Merthur, the romance, not bromance. We were wondering if the show could include that? The fangirls would love it and Bradley and I are willing to –" he coughed " – you know."

"Wait," said Merlin, stopping his writing. "Are you telling me that you _want_ to-"

"No! It's just-" Colin seemed a little lost for words. "The ratings would go up! And-and the fans would love it! Just Bradley and I are okay with it."

Merlin nodded slow, unsure expression on his face. "Merthur. Merlin and Arthur. But Arthur's married to Gwen."

Colin went a little red in embarrassment. "Ummmm, yeah, we thought of that. Maybe they could get a divorce or something? Do it behind Gwen's back? Don't kill her off, because Angel would be pissed, but _everyone _would enjoy Merthur. Right Bradley?"

Bradley looked up, expression confused. "What? Oh, yeah, right." He went back to ogling at Arthur, who was ogling back. Both seemed to trying to determine if they really looked like _that_.

"Ummm, well that's it," said Colin, standing up. Bradley did too, not breaking eye contact with the king. "Well, umm, bye. See you at work." At that, they left, Bradley and Arthur still gaping at their look alike.

"That was sooooooo awkward," Colin said outside to Bradley. "Why didn't you help me?"

"Sorry," said Bradley, giving him a sheepish grin. "But I thought you handled it well."

"You thought I handled it well? What do you know? You were staring at that blonde guy the entire time!"

Bradley hung his head in mock shame. "He looked like me. Didn't you notice? And Merlin looks exactly like you too."

Colin shook his head. "Really? Merlin's ears are too big while mine only stick out a bit. We look _nothing _alike. C'mon, let's go home and read some Merthur slash fics."

"You're obsessed with those."

"Yep, better believe it, prat."

"Idiot."

Back inside, Arthur and Merlin were having a similar conversation.

"That was a ten on the awkwardness scale," Merlin noted. "Merthur! They ship Merthur! What has this world come to?"

"C'mon Merlin, it wasn't that bad."

"What do you know? You were staring at Bradley the entire time!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "_Mer_lin, it's not every day you find someone that looks _exactly _like you. Except you have. That Colin guy was your look alike."

Merlin snorted. "Really? His cheekbones are too prominent. We look _nothing _alike. C'mon, let's go do something else."

"Like what?"

Merlin whipped out his "eye-phone" and went to pictures. "Well first, I should erase these pictures from a couple days ago."

Arthur hoped up and tried to get a glance at them again. "Merlin, really why were you-"

"No."

"Why-?"

"No."

"Idiot."

"Prat."


	10. Chapter 10

"Oooooookay," said a very drunk Merlin on the "eye-phone" screen. Merlin, yet again, went to happy hour, and this time Arthur was going to look at the pictures so he could black mail his friend later. Unfortunately, the warlock had taken a video, which the king had no idea how to send to everyone on Merlin's contact list.

"Ooookay," the screen Merlin said again, with a very drunk smile on his face. "Well I'll tell ya a story."

Arthur facepalmed (something he learned about through the sorcery of the internet.) Merlin got weird when he was drunk.

"This is the story of Herman Herman," the warlock continued. "Once upon a time, in new ancient Rome –" the screen suddenly shook as the person that had been holding doubled over with laughter. Really, it wasn't even that funny. "In new ancient Rome, there was a boy. He t'was named Herman Herman."

"T'was?" a voice called from the background.

"T'was!" Merlin called back, raising his drink and taking a shot from it. He shook his head and carried on. "Nobody liked Herman Herman, so he created a place where he could live without the constant fear."

Suddenly a girl came into the screen. She kissed the warlock full on the lips and then fell down across him. They both were giggling like mad.

"The constant fear of what?" asked the girl Arthur identified as Merlin's new girlfriend Alyssa (the one who'd previously been his best friend.)

"Exactly!" Merlin yelled, taking another shot. "Herman Herman then went to an old abandoned place –"

"Like the Starbucks down the road!" the person holding the camera cried.

"And he called it –" Merlin paused for dramatic effect. "America!"

"That's stupid," Alyssa grumbled. "Why America? They do nothing over there."

"No not that like that America," the drunk warlock insisted. "Like sub-America."

"Make sense," many voices chimed. This was slightly disturbing Arthur for some reason.

"And that's the story of Herman Herman!" Merlin yelled and then looked at Alyssa. "Time for body shots!"

Arthur shut it off then, thinking that whatever Merlin had said did not mean something pleasant to watch. He was about to put the "eye-phone" away, but then everyone's favorite warlock walked in.

"Hey Arthur what – oh, crap, which one did you watch?"

"You mean there's more?"

"Which – video – did – you – watch?"

"Ummmm, the Herman Herman one."

Merlin sighed in relief. "Good. The others got a bit out of hand. And don't get me started on the pictures."

"I didn't see any pictures on here."

"Check Photostream."

Arthur did and an evil smile broke out on his face. "Okay, sending theses to everyone on your contact list….."

"And…you sent them. Oh my Herman, Arthur. I hate you!"

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**A/N: Sorry about this one. That's all I got to say, just sorry. Herman Herman is an inside joke between me and my friends and I had no ideas for tonight. Let's just say Merlin+beer=Herman Herman. Sorry.**

**Next up: A Wal-Mart Adventure (in which Arthur gets lost in a big store and Merlin has to explain the use of bras.)**

**And thank you sooooo much to all the reviewers! You guys must like making me smile because that's all I do when I read your awesome reviews. (Really, my mom was like "okay, who're you thinking about?" And I was like "what?" And she was like "You were smiling like you were thinking of a cute boy. C'mon tell me who it is." Then it got awkward. "Mom, I was reading story reviews." She blinked then said, "You really need to get a life.") So anyways, thank you!**


	11. Chapter 11

"Merlin," Arthur said, trying to get the warlock up for the day. "MerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinM erlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMerlinMer lin." With each word, the king poked him. "C'mon, just wake up or I will vigorously poke you again!"

Merlin groaned. "Just leave me here to die."

"Nope, not happening!"

"Please, I feel like I'm gonna hurl."

Arthur backed up. "Okay, I'll leave you to vomit in peace."

As it turned out, Merlin _did _throw up, several times in fact. It was midday before he finally collapsed on the couch after a particularly bad round hacking his guts up.

"Know what?" he mumbled to Arthur. "I hate being sick."

"Don't we all?"

"I knooooooow," the warlock huffed indignantly. "I also hate a lot of other stuff."

Arthur just gave him a questioning look. "Like?"

"Morgana. First she was all nice and was like 'oh, everyone is worth something' while she ran around being a little rebel badass. She was okay like that."

Arthur shook his head. Merlin's fever must really be affecting his thoughts.

"Then when she found magic, she wouldn't stop complaining about how no one understanded her or how it was soooo lonely being the only one with power. Bitch, you just found out you had magic!" Merlin continued. "Then she was like, 'I have to fear for my life and live with the druids, because I have magic.' Then she decided to basically hate Uther. I don't get her."

"You _knew _she had magic?!" Arthur started, angrily. If Merlin had _told _them, a whole lot of hell could have been saved.

"No one would have believed me," the warlock grumbled. "Then Morgause was all like 'Morgana, you're my sister, we must take over Camelot.' She started to meet up with Morgause and I was like 'Morgana, what you doing? You were f***ing raised by Uther and now you just are going to forget that because you barley have magic?' She was such a bitch.

"Then after I poisoned her, she went missing for a year and blah, blah, blah. She was all pissy with me when she came back and decided that she was the most powerful magic user ever while I was laughing and ruining her schemes. But really, she would've poisoned anyone to save Camelot, so I don't really get why she bitching about me doing it to her."

"You poisoned her?"

"Yeah."

"When were you planning on telling me this?"

Merlin's eyes were glazed with illness. "Eventually."

"But you tell me _now_?"

"Yeah."

"_Why_?"

"Because being sick reminds me I hate being sick and hating thing reminds me of Morgana and Morgana reminds me of snogging."

"W-what?"

"I didn't always hate her, you know."


	12. Chapter 12

With a roar from the crowd, Merlin – no, wait, Emrys – most powerful warlock of all times, king of the druids, stood in front of the small army, half-beaten already, and decided to offer some words of encouragement.

"Men, I stand here today on the eve of the last battle. Truth be told, most of you will not survive. But remember, you will die for honor." He paused for a moment. "For justice. For your friends, for your family. Most of all, you fight for what you believe in! So, do not lose faith. We will fight as we lived; with dignity! We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for today he that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother! And when we're old and gray, we will look back on this battle and pull down our sleeves, to show our scars, the scars that define us! Those scars will be a mark of courage, trust, and liberty! Now, who is willing to fight?!" The crowd was silent. Merlin tried again. "Who is with me!?

There was no answer.

"_Mer_lin," said Arthur, walking in. "Why are you giving your video game a pep talk?"

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**A/N: Yes, a part of Merlin's speech was from Shakespeare's ****_Henry V_****, but the rest was mine, so no stealing! *looks suspiciously about***


	13. Chapter 13

_hey merlin, can u get me some of that good tasting snow from that place that these "americans" like?_

Merlin stared down at his phone with amusement and a bit of confusion. He had gotten Arthur a phone for "emergency uses only" but mostly the once and future-now-past king had used it to send Merlin countless texts and very annoying voicemails.

Arthur had caught the concept of it very well – even if he didn't understand how the letters got from the keypad to the screen. The only problem about Arthur texting was the warlock usually had to decipher the meanings, as the prat didn't know the proper terminology for most things.

That "_good tasting snow_" was either ice cream or Italian ice. And _"from that place that these 'americans' like"…_that could be anything! (Arthur always said "America," or "American" in a disbelieving way, still refusing to admit that the country existed for some obscure reason.)

Wait….good tasting snow, that place Americans like….McDonalds! He wanted a milkshake! Well, that made sense…

_no,_ Merlin texted back. _im busy_

_ please merlin?_

_ no._

_ pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?_

_ no._

After that, all Arthur sent were some very rude emojis.

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**A/N: It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry...let me explain:**

**Alrightly, well remember that story in Wal-Mart and the second one with Colin and Bradley? Well, I re-read them...oh my Herman, guys! They were fucking stupid! (Pardon my French.) So, after deleting them, I was too embarrassed to write more for this fic and I just curled up in my awkwardness and died (and wrote other fics...). **

**Seriously, I wasn't going to write more for this fic, but I was feeling brave (and incredibly stupid! XD). Are any of you reading? 'Cause if I were you, I would've given up on this fic a while back.**

**Well, I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed when I wasn't updating! You guilted me into write this.**


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